Reila

This name means alot to me, somehow (yah, because of NANA). And of coz it's a beautiful song... it's been so long since I fell instantly with a Japanese song. The last one was by Kagrra 悲文, which didnt last as long as this... 7mins plus for a song.

Hmm... somehow I blame it on my inability to smell. Why why, why am I defective? I dont want to have this strong sixth sense... I hate it when I can sense accurately what another person is thinking / doing just by mere words. I know no one can believe me. Well... it's not a subject of being sensitive or what... I can't explain it clearly... coz none of you will understand anyway. Do you understand how it feels not able to detect any smell at all? Do you understand the strong hit of realization when you read the text of someone's words, that you can 'see' what the person is doing now? God, what a freak.
I set a curse on myself. It is right here.
Thanx for letting me say it out. And bye.

我可能随时会像琥珀那样地沉睡着。。。

The air is cold

You want me to go, but in the end, you were hanging around the other person, so tell me, why do I need to stay there even? (You know I dont like strangers) Why did you insist on my presence? To make me feel worse than ever? Are you trying to kill me? No no, my heart is already dead. I shouldnt let you affect me a tiny bit.

Issit posssible to work so that the job can support another job you have? Haha, suddenly have this crazy idea. I dunno, since I have so much time on my hands (and so much that I'm sure I can handle two jobs at one time), I wish I can start to earn more money now. So that I can get out of here. Away from everyone.

Where I'm sure... no one really gives a damn and finally leave me alone.
Such as the Black Forest of Germany. It's breathtaking you know?

I should feel tired, but... I'm not. Just that a rock is weighting down my spirit, because I can only let the sky do the crying for me. Trying your best to feel nothing... it's a burden which I must bear.

最近好想在深夜奔驰。。。这是前所未有的快感噢。昨晚。。。好心痛你知道吗？
那句“哈哈，没事”是骗人的骗你的！！！

very tired (really)

I.... I dont like people to ask me about my work. Dont ask me where I work, what I do... unless I tell you myself.
I am not attending an interview... so don't ask me anything on work.
Work work work... can I fly across the pacific to work instead?
Can I... can I indulge myself in music everyday, and no one can critisize me of the things I listen to? Can you pls dont look down on me? I know my stuffs well k.

Can I... can I go away?
Leave you(s) behind?
Since... it makes no difference afterall?
What have I gotten myself into?
Where do I go from now?

I have not had green tea ice cream for a long time...
I love green tea... you understand?

existence

I was tied to a rope hanging by the tree on the cliff, waiting for the first ray of daylight to consume me. But you never let me go.
Let me go please.

瘾

Obsession easily rules me, and when that happens, my mind cannot function properly (not that it has been doing so).
I can't eat I can't sleep, I can't concentrate.
I want to run to the edge of the world and vomit out the subject of obsession. Get it off my head, my mind, my chest. It's a suffocating sensation, but I choose to hate it. Because my mind is still working afterall. No good is gonna come out of it we all know that.
I'm dead!
I really hate this simple mind of me.

I guess it all boils down to...

They say they want me back.
I'm very nervous about the whole thing.
Nervous because I dunno if our taste in music still coincides?
I've changed alot le. Too mellow already.
I am trying very hard, but if people can see it, I am already very happy ne. Really.
Or do they just want a face up there?
We'll see how it goes, can help me cross your fingers too?

I know I shouldnt be saying this, but... it's still a pleasant surprise lah.

得把私情藏起来。

昨天Pwen问我为什么喜欢娃娃。这问题是不是问了许多遍？
（我觉的她晓得我的回答总是千变万化，所以得重复问回。）
因为娃娃不会拒绝我的爱吖。
我就是如此直接，有时人家会受不了吧。
当然，娃娃只有被爱的份，它们没有爱回你的权利，这点我知道。
那又如何？

啊，不晓得我写这些有何屁用。嗯，就是写了读了（要是有人读的话）便算了咯。
其实最近。。。我已经没碰娃娃们了。 Must be the greed sneaking onto me.

For the first time in 20 odd years, I'm starting to have eyebags. Knn.

slap me

Tell me, how to have the same frequency with a 31-year-old person?
I just can't lor.
And... I'm infatuated with an ah beng! XD

I know... age doesnt mean anything, but it's a mental obstacle I just cant seem to rid of. Hmm, maybe... I really am weird?

hold your blunt tongue

I like to act very blunt.
心直口快，看到他人惊讶的神情，有点儿好笑。
我就是故意的，又怎样？
人家需要一点的乐趣, some cheap thrills yah?

imaginative scorpio

Maybe I should get Kenath to give me a design (I need something big, expressive). Or maybe I could ask him to let me tag along next time he goes for another round of fill-ins on his back (the buzzing sound is addictive, haha).
*envious* that he has got so much ink already. Ok, just dont touch his dear pretty face can le.
Wait... I think he will not feel comfortable having a xiao mei mei stare at his body bah (yum). Heh. I'll ask anyway. Slap me lor.
Lately, I seem unable to keep my mouth shut, and ask people anything that comes to my mind. So this friend told me that the question I asked was quite unusual. And I replied: why is it unusual? Just because nobody has ever voiced it out doesnt mean this question never cross their minds. Maybe they are too scared to ask? Or they dont bother at all?

Sometimes, you'll never know what is gonna happen, so just ask lor.
Digress abit there.
Now, I need to feel the needles again. Probably the stinging pain will take away my other pains.
Argh, I hate the bleeding below. Why why is it the so much blood is lost yet I'm still alive? Help. I feel like a living dead corpse.

On another side note, I think 刘亮 and Kenath look alike! XD

hmmm

"那时我们总有好多话 什么事都可以讲
我的爱情比你早 却一直放在心上
后来你们之间的变化 我不想再多说话
经过了相遇和挣扎 我还是无法将他放下

那是多久后的事了 有一天你突然问我
在那个时候 是否也爱着他

我也很想他 我们都一样
在他的身上 曾找到翅膀
只是那时的他 是因为你他开始飞翔
我也很想他 在某个地方
我少了尴尬 你少了肩膀
而夏天还是那么短 思念却很长

还记得 那年我们三个许下的愿望
星星骗了我们 我们却因此上了一课
成长必修的学分

我们都一样"
-孙燕姿
I'm seriously itching / dying to get another tattoo. Have been putting it for too long. Argh, I want to feel the needles again!!!! Where's my good design! I cant believe I lost that beautiful pix! It's so me!

changed?

是我变了还是什么呢？
最近，有许多人都说以前我很酷的。这是什么意思？
现在呢？为什么现在就不酷？
太多的参与是不对的吗？

其实以前我还比较快乐呢。
但我不觉的我酷啊。。。又没特意去做些什么。
到底出了什么状况？
好吧，该是时候收敛了。

wanted to say something, but forget it, just read the lyrics for now

“雨后的城市 寂寞又狼狈
路边的座位 它空着在等谁
我拉住时间 它却不理会
有没有别人 跟我一样很想被安慰

风 停了又吹 我忽然想起谁
天 亮了又黑 我过了好几岁
心 暖了又灰 世界
有时候孤单的很需要另一个同类
爱 收了又给 我们都不太完美
梦 作了又碎 我们有几次机会 去追

不晓得为什么爱 又稀少又昂贵
云在半空中 被微风剪碎 <-- This part is very intense description ne
回忆也许美 可是正在飞走对不对”
-孙燕姿
Probably another song which is always facing my 'skip' mode, but lately I found the lyrics very good... did I do this before? *shrugs* ah, who cares.

Classical piano was alright, hmm... probably the notes were fairly easy, so I tend to remember how the melody goes instead of relying on the notes naturally... which is no good (to me), because in time to come I may not be able to remember ALL the notes on a stretch of scores and have to read them on that piece of paper. Ah, abit nervous, and fingers got "tied" alot of times... -.-'' sometimes I think that I ought not to think so much, because once I forget who I am, I seem to do better, what is this called? Hmm, I'll still do my best. Oh! dont ask me why I'm not learning pop piano. *wink* Why should I?

I just came back from returning some files, and I've totally forgotten what I wanted to put down. It's very weird. Just 2 mins passed. Why can't I forget the disappointment instead? What? Who? I also donno ne.
Last night for the first time, I sat through a lively musical show without participating in the fun. Felt a bit paisey that the people beside me were rocking and dancing, but I just stoned there, watching the musicians do their thing ,just like an invisible spirit there.

Now I remember:
If I ever screamed into your ears before, asking, why do I treat people with sincerity but I cant feel other people's sincerity towards me... it's still true.
Hmm, now I dont know why I wanted to write that le. =(

"我始终带着你爱的微笑 一路上寻找我遗失的美好
不小心当泪滑过嘴角 就用你握过的手抹掉
再多的风景也从不停靠 只一心寻找我遗失的美好
有的人说不清哪里好 但就是谁都替代不了"
yes, it's true ne.

I'll try my best on the piano. (>.<)

“吃饭吃到睡了 我开车开到傻了
我看书看到你了 开始怀疑我怎么了
说话说到吐了 我写歌写到疯了
我爱你 爱到盲了 天知道我又怎么了

不舍得 舍不得 都分手了
舍不得 不舍得 散了
爱是你的 我是我的 完了

原来我只是突然累了 原来我不说了
原来我撑着撑到麻了 原来我不爱了”
-林俊杰

真想知道他是在什么情况下写下曲子。
当然别人填的歌词即简单又打入人心噢。。。
不晓得是曲填词，还是词填曲的 case？
听起来好像是词填曲呐。

get on with the show

!!! I'm gonna watch Spirits with ah di (who wanted to watch very much) and pwen! This is a much publicised local production, and I really hope it turns out as good as they said... heh, though, I really would love to watch for another time The Busker's Opera from start till the end (sign... very raw, romantic and hilarious ne, and it really doesnt have much R(A) content -.-'' does humping constitute to R(A)? Singapore's rating sucks man). The music's was really fun ne. Which means, I'm left with two unused tix. :/ wasteful.
Now why am I excited? Coz I just happen to get the tix free! (Actually I sort of 'grab' the tix like a kiasu auntie :p Now I appreciate the fact that I'm working where I am working for once, me sound damn materialistic.) Heheh~ SHIAWASE ne~ And because I get to watch with two enthusiasts. Cool~
Reviews probably later.

to your lover

愛してるー中島美嘉 <-- click to d/l the performance
"愛してる　愛してる　愛してる　あなた　だけ　を
愛してる　愛している　そばに　いて　君　を　照らそう

曇空　の　夜　月明かり　も　何も　なくて
あなた　の　笑顔　が　 瞬間　消えた　ような　気がして
余計な　事　考える　大事な　事　は　あなた　が　好きで
私　を　好き　か　どうか　は　いい　の　今　だけは

愛してる　愛してる　愛してる　あなた　だけ　を
愛してる　愛している　そばに　いて　君　に　告げよう

ありふれた　言葉　あなたには　わからない　けど
大好きさ　君　が　なんて　嬉過ぎる　てれるね
二人の　事　考える　大事な　あなた　この　先　ずっと
私　を　好きで　いれたら　いいね　このまま　で

愛してる　愛してる　愛してる　あなた　だけ　を
愛してる　愛している　そばに　いて　君　を　照らそう

冷たい夜に　きらめく雪　を　描いて
変わらない　背景　の　色　を　白くして行く
あ、限られる　飾られる　語られる　報われる　おおー
夜になる　また朝　が　来る　から

Do it joy to love love me let it snow
Love it's holy night love me
あなた　だけ　を
Do it fallin' love love me let it glow love it's
そばに　いて 君　を　照らそう
Holy night always love joy to the love"
To carry on with my Mika-craze, here's a old sweet ballad, if you understand Kanji completely; forget the translations, they kill the romance completely and replace it with cheesy-ness. Haha, I want to sing it to my lover~ This is one performance that kept my eyes glue to the screen even if she just stood there and sing. Hmm, enchanting, yes.

Beware

That crazy person sent me a friendster message "You deleted me?! Thanx ah!"
Wow, what if he comes and beat me up on Saturday? I'm so scared ~.~
Like real.
If he never spied on people, how he knows I've deleted him? Spread visious rumors about me among his friends still dare act like nothing happen. Fucker. Think I dont know.

This person really is sooooo busy. So busy everyday because he has to go round disturbing other people on this earth.

nothing much

"听着自已的心跳 没有规则的跳跃
我安静的在思考 并不想被谁打扰
我们曾紧紧拥抱 却又轻易地方掉
那种感觉很微妙 该怎么说才好

时间分割成对角 停止你对我的好 瓦解我们的依靠

在你离开之后的天空 我像风筝寻一个梦
雨后的天空 是否有放晴后的面容
我静静的望着天空 试着寻找失落的感动
只能用笑容 期待着雨过天晴的彩虹"
-蔡依林 '天空''

Had this song for a long time, yet I was looking for it all over the net. o.O''
So it sounds like that ah. Thought what's the big deal about it.
Hmm, typical Jolin's ballad lor.
So many new songs I want to try out. XD
I told ah long I miss jamming rooms. Hmm, almost spill something out.
When you have hands full of apples, yet there's nobody to share it with... it's a very sad scene ne.
I am feeling very simple this week, trying to ignore that constant call to think about unnecessary things. Have not watch a movie alone for a long time, I think it's back to that activity. Hmm... how about "Ghost Train" for a start?
Tonight I'll be returning from Kallang Theatre alone... that place just gives me the creeps... I want to go home and sleep... mou...
PS: Why my tagboard ran to the bottom of the page? *shakes head*
[edit] FIXED! Sometimes I think I'm very clever at fixing things even if I'm totally blur about what I am doing. [/edit]