do I get a chance

I wrote these down, but I didnt mean to appear as if I am perfect.
Fuck it, I'm not. I'm the most ugly person on earth.
That is why, God doesnt want me, and no one here will see me too.
I didnt know... perhaps, even the rose is prettier than my heart.
Can I paint it well? If I could, I wish... the right person can see through me, I dont care if people misunderstand me.
Explanations are useless.

The palette in my hands
I have the world to control
But as the paint rolls
The image unfolds
I chose black because right now, all I see is that
A choice a remedy
I want to reach out
I can do it I can do it